2014-06-16 "Loser? Ah, how about I pull one of yo antennas out of your head. Then who's the loser, me or you!?"

Hello my beautiful family!!!

Once upon a time, this was an interesting week. Some happenings this week include, one of our potential investigators passing on (that was pretty sad.. she was only about 30), stake conference (which was super amazing! We basically have a President Gottfredson here.. President Abou, he's awesome), and, yup, you guessed it, lots of finding (which has been much less successful this last transfer... people will let us teach them once or twice, and then just be "busy" from then on....).

Today, we remembered randomly that sometime like, 19 years ago, I was like... a baby or something? We thought it was pretty cool. So we decided to go grab a pizza. It was a good call. We found a place that makes pretty legit pizza. And then we ate it. I do believe that pizza in Italian means food of the gods. Maybe its greek? Na, must be Italian. like, "fra-ji-le..." Basta, its a good thing to eat. Even though it makes you fat. Being fat isn't fun. Unless you're fat enough to pass off as being pregnant and can use that to get through long lines faster!

There is this delicious thing that my comp makes. Its called "Mango float." Imagine sweetened condensed milk, cream, graham crackers, and fresh mangoes, all frozen in the freezer making a layered cake.... OOooooo, AAAAaaaaahhhh, OOOooooo (kinda like we are watching fire works, except that I am making these sounds as I eat the mango float.) "It's good, it's like a short bread cookie thing with like cream in the middle, and it's like (notices staring), it's good (cough)." -Hoodwinked. "Well what are you waiting for? Something amazing I guess!" -Incredibles.

Hmm, ano pa, oh ya! I went on exchanges with Elder Gacer in my old area, Basud!!! Gacer is a new trainee, he's pretty awesome. We had an awesome balla time in Basud! We kinda wrecked it up there. We have some boss teaching. Like, ya, it was good. He is native, I can teach, I can speak pretty well in lessons (like, pretty much fluent there... not too many problems), and put the two of us together and you just have some Astig Teaching! yeah, it was a good call. Me + him = awesomeness. Yup, and it was super good to see all my old investigators again! They are progressing well. Joel is back and doing well!!

P.S. I love Google Translate!!!!! hahahahahahaha, so, once upon a time, I just goolge translated some of my own Tagalog to see what you guys see. For all you that are interested, astig means awesome! haha, I'm not calling you all brutes!!! Hahaha, Google translate says some very funny things. Try not to draw too many conclusions from reading my Tagalog, your translation may yet be faulty! Just an awesome FYI.

Hmm, some other awesomeness that happened to me yong lingo na ito... Well, Adrian is still doing very well with his walking. We are finding lots of awesome people in Fairview with him. We found Two girls two weeks ago that are looking pretty promising. We might be baptizing them... but it'll probably be after I leave.

Oh, And its transfers this week, but once again, I get to stay here!!! I have one more transfer in my first area! I am super happy. I love this area. We have a super duper awesome ward! Especially the bishop and his family. And the Santillans (their dad just moved to Manila for work... hopefully he can save up enough money to get married and then he can get baptized...). And Adrian... And like, everyone! I do love this area and I am super excited I get it for another six weeks! By the end of this transfer I will have spent 6 months in this area! Its a good call.

Anywho, gotta run! We gots ourselves an appointment right now!! Love you all tons! Keep being awesome! Peace Out!

2014-06-12 HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ELDER MATTY MATT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your momma misses you!

2014-06-09 "And there'll be little flags on the hood, with HB on the them. Yeah, for enormous BIG HEAD!!!"

Hello my dearest family!!

Haha, yes, I may have stolen that quote from you Stephanie, but it made me laugh a little... of course the rest of you know it though!! You probably can all imitate the voice too! If not, dad, Shame on You!!! haha, joke lang, joke lang!

So, once upon a time, lets all say it together, 'I had a freaking awesome kick-butt week!!!!!' haha, bet nobody knew that was coming! haha, but for real! this week was way way awesome!!!

First, my bestest creation, (You slapped a fish!! You just... Punched it!!) the Santillan baptism this week!!!! So first, to preface it, brother is unmarried still, so he isn't baptized yet... and then Jasper moved back to his grandparents house for the year. So he will have to wait to be baptized till next week... that was sad. But Francine and Fria got baptized this week!!!! It was the best thing ever!! It was a super beautiful baptism. And the Santillan girls have become super good friends with bishops daughters, so bishops daughter did a solo at the baptism. It was actually really good, especially considering that nobody played the piano with her and she is only 11.. yup, it was cool beans! So they got baptized. Awesomeness!!! Haha, one time I was joking with Francine and told her the baptism by fire happened in this little tub thing we found while we were at the church... and that she might not have any hair afterwords... I think she was a little confused and extremely relieved when we did not light her on fire afterwords!!! Haha, woops! The good thing is, she understood that she would be receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. So... ya...

Another good story from this week, once again, Sherwin came to church this week! And this time he brought his wife and daughter!!! Haha, and everyone thought he was a member this week cause he totally shut down old man again in priesthood. He says some dumb things some times, but Sherwin knows his stuff! haha, its a good call. Always remember, if you have an investigator that attends your class.. try not to deep doctrine them. Its confusing for them... and it'll be really embarrassing if an investigator shuts you down!!! haha, he is a stud. I think he is not married though... that would be a problem. the common down fall of the Philippines.

"I will give place no more, for the enemy of my soul." Also known as laundry!!! "I hate [laundry]!!! I hate it!!!!" (said while covering my face with gray hair and laying in bed, I'm also animated and fat.... go figure.). Haha, "Welcome to another episode of Laundry Wars. Only on Missionary Planet." Once upon a time, I went to battle with my laundry.... it ended with me taking it to the laundromat cause I am sick of doing it by hand!!! But I see that some people have done their homework... Haha, "silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!"

So this week, once upon a time we went to teach Nanay Liwanag (yes Dallin, that is really her name, haha). But she wasn't there. So we saw her grandkids and were like, "Seguro, gusto mong makinig sa amin?" Almost the most pathetic plead in the history of the world for someone to listen to you... and surprisingly, we got the most enthusiastic yes I have ever heard! So we taught them an awesome lesson! They look like they have some really good potential!

This other time, we were having a district activity at the beach. The ZL's district happened to be there too. They happen to have a rugby playin poly in there district that had a rugby ball with him.... we were playing volley ball... I was gone before anybody could say anything! It felt so good to hold a rugby ball in my hands again!!! Rugby is gonna be in heaven... otherwise... it'll just not be heaven to me! I imagine I will have the same feelings that I had holding that rugby ball when I hold my first child someday. Looking down at the beautiful, sand-covered ball, I said, "Its ok baby, daddy's got you." Haha, ok, maybe that is a little bit stretched. But I had a good time with that ball. It was a super good time! Speaking of which, does anybody know how my boys did at nationals this year?

Sigi, I think that's all for this week. I gotta run!!! Peace and lovin all yalls!

Elder Christensen 

2014-06-02 Pics! (Finally)

 This first one is the Lake in Bibirao...b-day pics for my momma!  Only a little late.

 The flowers at the river...

My new comp!  Elder Mariano!  Astig siya!

Hmm, don't think I've sent this yet...this is me...And as Dallin says, I'm probably pointing at food.  Don't know what else would be interesting enough to point at!

2014-06-02 "Wow, is my hair out?!"

Ibig-sabihin, my comp got a hair cut... he feels bald. In case you were all wondering. Ah, he's still pogi! So how is my wonderful family doing this fine day?!?! Basically, your all gonna hate me again. I am completely brain dead and have no idea what happened this week (this happens to me every week.....), but anywho, this week was once again a spectacular week!!!

So, first, you all need to realize how wonderful your washers and dryers are. Homework for tonight. Go to your washer, put your arms around it (you may feel slightly sheepish, but your washer will appreciate it... not to mention it'll give me a good laugh) and tell your washer that you love it. Your washer saves you a lot of hard work! Appreciate it! This week, I decided that I need to get caught up completely on laundry, but of course every day you add to it (especially if you have my shirts! Mom, don't let josh get the kind of shirts I have! They are a magnet for dirt! My two long sleeve ones that are regular material don't do this.... but they are long sleeve! So of course I don't wear them....). So, I did laundry every night... I have now given up, I am taking my clothes to a laundromat! I hate laundry!

On a slightly better note (slightly is like, so underexaggerated its like saying that Mount Timpanogos is a slight bump in the earth), Sherwin (the guy I OYM'd at the SM) came to church yesterday!!! He rescheduled work and showed up with his daughter! Man that guy is a stud. He finished the BoM again. This old guy was trying to deep doctrine everyone in Gospel Principles, and Sherwin just is like, "That's not how it is," And then he pulled out a story from the BoM and straightened him out... What?!?! This is before we have ever even had like a legit lesson with this guy! We have talked about Joseph Smith, but this is all just coming from his own research, this guy is a stud! So, basically, talk to everyone about the gospel! You never know when your gonna find a Sherwin!

Guess what else! So, for those of whom do not remember the Abihay family. They are less active. Their father is offended and he and his wife don't exactly follow all the commandments. They follow the major ones... but... yeah. They are less active. Well, their 8 year old son decided he wants to go on a mission! So we have been teaching him BoM stories at his house. Some of the other kids in that neighbor hood have been listening too!!! All of the kids in that neighborhood love me. Its rather nice. When they see us coming, [they know my name now!!] they are like, "Elder Christen" (they can't seem to get the last part down!), They always want "Up-Here's"... anywho, they have started listening too! Elder Mariano is really good at telling stories to little kids. I am working on that. I can tell them in English, but it takes some thought in Tagalog. Wow, anywho, the kid that is 8 (I am getting side-tract), he came to church this last week! And the Santillan kids were friend shipping him... Gotta love them.

Speaking of the Santillan kids, All the kids are finally getting baptized this week!!! Saturday my friends! I am super pumped for them! They are all way ready. Unfortunately, the oldest boy, Jasper, is then moving out to live with his grandparents. He used to live with them, and then came here for the summer, and his grandparents through a fit, so they are sending him back out for one more year... sad day.

So Saturday was also my comps birthday. So today we made some delicious food that we will eat tonight. I am rather excited. And the ZL's (that we live with) said they are gonna make us some bicol express sometime! I am super pumped!

Well, that's all folks, I can't remember my week. Gotta run. Peace Out!

2014-05-26 "Why do you have a bag on your head?"

Kumusta kayo yung pinakapagmamahal pamilya ko!!!!!

How the stink are yalls?!?! I hope you had a fantastic week. Because once again, I did!!! (It's almost becoming a chorus now, I don't remember not having a stinking awesome astig na lingo!!!! If I don't say it sometimes, just know, its a thing) So basically, I forgot my camera again.... Yeah, I am really glad that I am not serving stateside right now, because I think my mother would at this time, crucify me... I can just see her right now as she realizes I have no pics again, stirring the people up against me, like in the video of Christ when Pilate brings Christ out on the balcony, and then there's the old tatay down in the crowed.... "Crucify.. crucify him... CRUCIFY HIM!!!! (with her arms shaking over her head)" And then the crowed joins in and they all start yelling "Crucify Him!!" And then Pilate washes his hands.... Yeah.... I am sorry about the pics. You know the good news though!? I'm not in the U.S., and if I were, I would certainly hope that this is just me writing for the sake of writing, and my mother loves me enough not to crucify me for having no pictures. But I'll most certainly have my camera next week!!!!!!

So once upon a time, there was an elder. His name was Elder Christensen. He taught many people! The end.

If you have any questions, please forward them to my inbox...

You have no Idea how badly I wanted to just send that... It would have been quite entertaining, and I really have no idea what went on this week!!!!

Lets see, the Santillans didn't church again this week, so we have to postpone there baptism one more week... But their dad did come play basketball this morning with us... he is super astig!!!! There family is doing well, and ready for baptism!

Tapos, my Tagalog is getting a TON better! I love having a Filipino as my companion!!! It is so so so so SUPER duper helpfull! I mean, it aint nothing but a thing, but I can communicate now! Yeah!! Holla at your boy! Gus, we need the Super Sniffer.

Umm, honestly, this is just a really bad week again as far as memory goes!! We got punted a lot, and we did a lot of teaching. We have an awesome boy in Bibirao that is going to get his family reactivated because he wants to mission and he wants to know the BoM. Mom, I don't have time to write this. Maybe you can send to everyone else a shortened version about what I told to you about Bibirao...

Ummm, other than that. We were ninjas. We did awesome things. We talked to everyone... Oh yeah! We talked to that guy at the SM again. He hasn't come to church yet still, but that's cause he has work. He is trying to change up his schedule, so that his half day off comes on Sunday for church. He read the BoM once, and now he is half way through Alma again... He is a stud! That was in like, 4 weeks!!!!!

We also taught this guy this week about the Restoration, we had a killer lesson with him, and now he wants to be baptized. "That was a really nice story." - Kid History - "I forgot to say that."

Nanay Brioso dissappeared on us. Her husband was being a wicked man, so she left him. She is apparently still in our area somewhere, but we haven't found her yet. When we do, we will re-extend her baptismal date.

Anywho, we are late again to our FHE. Gotta run! Love you all! Peace!

2014-05-19 "Get back witch!!!!""I'm not a witch, I'm your wife! But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore!!!!!!"

Hello family!!!!

So basically, this stinks, I am supposed to be at an FHE right now, so I gotta run, this is gonna be really short and crummy! Sorry!!!! Mother, I took some beautiful pics in Bibirao for you of the river and the flowers there... But I forgot my card reader, so I will have to get you a late present next week.. Sorry!!! But Happy Birthday!!! Love you much!!!!

For anyone who is interested in knowing...the Philippines is hot. Imagine being inside a rice cooker... in a shirt and tie. Walking long distances.... (I say rice cooker for three reasons... one, because its humid here, much like a rice cooker. Two, because I eat rice three meals a day, so rice is on my mind. Actually, its on my everything, I'm made of rice right now, and yes, that means I'm fat. And three, because its hot and humid here, like a rice cooker, and I don't know how else to say that... And four, rice is an amusing thing... Did you know that if you throw it and it is sticky, it sticks to the wall? Hmm, it also takes a while to clean up... don't ask, just know its a thing.)

For anyone else who is interested in knowing... The power on our street is pretty much the worst in the entire city. For some random reason our street will be the only one that will turn off... literally... And you would think with the mayor living right down the street he would get that fixed!!! But no, he does not. So often times, we have no fans... It also makes taking a shower interesting... since you don't have any light its hard to locate the bucket of water... and your soap.... tut tut. Woe is me!

Hmm, for the majority of our week, see FINDING. See also, for more details, TRACTING, CONTACTING LESS ACTIVES, PLAYING BASKETBALL WITH KIDS, and BEING AWESOME. Under these sections you will find the remainder of our awesomeness... The awesomeness is too great to withhold to this puny email in which I have no time to write! Just know, believe, have faith, repent, and endure to the end in your belief that I am doing awesome things...

P.S. I am going to eventually find a soap box and do this thing how missionaries used to do it... Real missionary work! I'm gonna stand on my soap box and preach some real repentance to these people!!!!!! "And the awesomeness was exceedingly great." Oi, Bibirao is a far area though... it can take up to two hours to walk to the farther parts... "in so much that they were exceedingly sore."

The Santillans had their Bap. Int. this week!!!! They passed!!!! Unfortunately, Francine wasn't there for the last lesson or the interview, and Jasper didn't come to church... so we have to postpone until next week... oh well, super exciting!!!!!!

Ummmmm, once upon a time, two elders walked into a bar. Actually, it was only one elder, the other was a Philippino and walked right under it.... the elder was immediately flattened. That's all!

Another interesting story, is that my comp is a really good cook. He is cooking some fantastic things with food... as a result, my belly did grow....... Troubles of a missionary...

Well, I am really sorry that I don't have a lot of success stories this week, but I gotta run!!!!! Love you all!!!! Peace Out!!!!

The Middle (cause see, next week I'll be writing another letter, so it isn't the end yet...)